Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Once strong, now broken
Yesterday we completed our goodbyes to my grandpa at the cemetery as we reunited his ashes with the ashes of the love of his life. Ceremony was beautiful and ended even more phenomenal. As we started heading out there was an eagle circling around us. I believe this is a sign. A sign of Grandpa being with us and looking over us. I also think it was a sign to his children. He was still doing the fatherly thing and trying to tell them something. Even though parents are gone I believe that they are still able to watch from above. They are beaming with pride like they no doubt did when they were alive or just shaking their heads asking themselves what the heck went wrong!?! and try to fix whatever it was. Even if it meant pinching your ear while pulling you into the other room or just saying your name with disappointment. I believe Gram and Grandpa is doing the second of the two within the last few days. As I observed the family after the ceremony and even during the inevitable split between them was obvious. All were hurting and all needed that little extra hug or reassurance. It wasn't given/there for the most part. Everyone was distance, no one close for support. The strength they all once had together was not there. You might be able to say that the family circle is now broke. I pray, oh how I pray, that within time healing will begin and with self reflection eyes will open and realize that materialistic things are not going to bring back our loved ones. The materialistic things are just stuff. If it meant something say it! If it is to just have then share so others can have a little something. It doesn't pay to argue. After all it is still in one family. I guess I can't wrap my head around the fact that there was very little communication (in a positive way). It would be all different if it truly had a meaning behind it that you simply had to have it. I would think that if this was shared there would have been alot less bickering. I could be wrong, I wasn't there and choose not to be there. I refuse to allow myself to be subjected to that, as my last memory of the death of my grandpa. My memory of my grandpa will last forever in my heart being a very positive one. I can still see his beaming smile and pride when my little buddy finally warmed up to him and gave him a hug on his own terms and with a very willing heart. I am hoping the ones that are hurting now due to the arguing/words being said will be able to sit back and have a good memory beyond the passing of Grandpa. Love yah Gramp! Happy 88th Birthday!
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Tomorrow is not promised
When they say that tomorrow isn't guaranteed, they knew what they were talking about.
Last Sunday I got a call from my mom that my grandpa had fallen earlier in the day and that he was heading home and doing good. Within a couple hours later got another call saying that grandpa had died shortly after he had gotten home. Needless to say our whole huge family was in total shock! I think that we also surprised the police officers on how big our family is and how fast we can all get there. One officer commented to me that we all must live relatively close since we all got there so fast. Same one mentioned that he wouldn't think that anyone of us would have to worry about getting in a fight and not having anyone to help us. I chuckled and said "nope not at all!" and chuckled. Obviously he has no clue what it was like to be one of the Kaufman boys. Heck anyone that knew the Kaufman's knew to not even mess with one of the Kaufman girls because ummm.....they have brothers!
Sunday and Monday was so unreal. Felt like I was in someone else's life. This can't be happening. We are all going to wake up in the morning and it all be a horrible dream! I experienced/learned three things within that first 24 hours. 1-I now know what it feels like to hyper ventilate. 2- One person can cry non-stop for a very long time! 3-I have one hell of a support system! Specially my husband. Without him I have no idea if I would have gotten through this, especially that first 24 hours.
Life happens even when you are just in the motions. That sums up this past week. I am so grateful for the job that I have and the co-workers that I have. Not sure I carried my weight Monday and Tuesday night. Glad we are small and are like a small little family. Wednesday morning after sleeping a couple hours I woke up to a message and returned the phone call to one of my aunts asking to write something about the kind of person grandpa was for the obituary. How can I say no. To me that would have been kind of like a slap in his face. It was an honor to say yes. Then I hear "but I have to have it by 2:00". Guess that doesn't mean back to sleep for me. So sitting there I thought of all the things that all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and children have said in person or on facebook about grandpa. This was easy! Not only do I work better under pressure I didn't have to think while half asleep. I just mixed it all together and poof there it was. Off in an email. That was done. Without a to many tears! Thank you to all of the family for helping me put it together!
Grandpa was such an awesome man! He is going to be so missed!!!!
Kaufman, Joseph M.
Joseph M. Kaufman, Appleton, age 87, died Sunday July 6, 2014 at his home. He was born in Appleton on July 22, 1926 to the late Matthew and Lorraine (Dunsirn) Kaufman. Joseph married Vivian Fulcer on August 22, 1945. She preceded him in death on April 6, 2011 after 65 years of marriage. Joe was a mechanic at Schreiters Auto Supply for over 40 years, retiring in 1998. Following his retirement, he enjoyed woodworking, reading and playing Solitaire. Joe served in the U.S. Army during World War II and was a member of the Harvey PierreV.F.W. Post 2778, Appleton.
Joseph is survived by his children: JoAnn Koehnke, Ginna (Jack) Heegeman, Dave (Linda), Judy (Roger) Regeth, Mike, Ralph (Diane), Mary (Steve) Ready, Debbie Wilson, Greg (Kim), Dan (Laurie) and Ann (Ken) Hansen; 26 grandchildren: Trisha (Dan) Rawlings, Tim (Kimbre) Kiley, Katy (Tim) Schultz, John (Misie) Heegeman, Bob and Keith (Amy) Ristow, Corrina (Jake) McIntire, Christy Fristch, Amanda Christophersen, Chris (Henna) and Kory Hermes, Levi Ready, Jessie Dercks, Shannon (Jon) Calllies, Jimmi Hansen, Joe, Willy, Paul (Kellie), Denny, Toni, Mike Jr., Tommy, Ronnie, Dan (Allissa) and Shawn (Corrie) Kaufman; 55 great grandchildren; 6 great great grandchildren; siblings: Chuck (Lorraine) Kaufman and Margaret Seidling; sisters-in-law: Joyce Kaufman and Barbara Vandermuse. He is further survived by nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends.
In addition to his parents and wife, Joseph was preceded in death by his sons-in-law: Bob Koehnke, Jim Koehnke and Steve Wilson; grandsons: Jamie, Troy and Billy; great granddaughter, Ally; brothers: Bob (LaVerne), Casey (Margaret) (Betty), Louie (Margaret) and Jack Kaufman; and brothers and sisters-in-law: Sissy Wolff, Angeline Shuckhart, Jerome, Ronnie, Tommy, Danny, Clifford and Gerald Fulcer.
Visitation will be held Thursday July 10, 2014 at ST. MARY PARISH (312 S. State St. Appleton) beginning at 9:00 a.m. until time of Mass at 10:30 a.m. The Rev. Bill Swichtenberg will officiate. Military rites conducted by the Harvey Pierre V.F.W. Post 2778 will immediately follow. Committal St. Mary Cemetery. To sign the guest book, please visit oconnellfh.com. In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been established.
Written by Joe's granddaughter, Trisha:
The world lost an amazing, most kind, and gentle soul that will be missed more than words can say. He loved so unconditionally that it shined right through his tender heart. Being a father and father figure to many you couldn't help but learn from him by the way he lived. You learned the true meaning of a work ethic by his hard and dedicated work. You learned to rely on your faith with his "this to shall pass" attitude. With the little pat that he gave you while giving you a hug, you knew he was proud of you. The thing that made him the happiest was his family and seeing them happy. He will be missed not only by his squirrel friends, but all that knew and loved him.
"Keep it cool" Grandpa! ~With much love~
In between the family part of the funeral and before everyone started to arrive for the visitation my sister got all the siblings together for a group photo. I am so glad she was able. You never know when the next might be.
Last Sunday I got a call from my mom that my grandpa had fallen earlier in the day and that he was heading home and doing good. Within a couple hours later got another call saying that grandpa had died shortly after he had gotten home. Needless to say our whole huge family was in total shock! I think that we also surprised the police officers on how big our family is and how fast we can all get there. One officer commented to me that we all must live relatively close since we all got there so fast. Same one mentioned that he wouldn't think that anyone of us would have to worry about getting in a fight and not having anyone to help us. I chuckled and said "nope not at all!" and chuckled. Obviously he has no clue what it was like to be one of the Kaufman boys. Heck anyone that knew the Kaufman's knew to not even mess with one of the Kaufman girls because ummm.....they have brothers!
Sunday and Monday was so unreal. Felt like I was in someone else's life. This can't be happening. We are all going to wake up in the morning and it all be a horrible dream! I experienced/learned three things within that first 24 hours. 1-I now know what it feels like to hyper ventilate. 2- One person can cry non-stop for a very long time! 3-I have one hell of a support system! Specially my husband. Without him I have no idea if I would have gotten through this, especially that first 24 hours.
Life happens even when you are just in the motions. That sums up this past week. I am so grateful for the job that I have and the co-workers that I have. Not sure I carried my weight Monday and Tuesday night. Glad we are small and are like a small little family. Wednesday morning after sleeping a couple hours I woke up to a message and returned the phone call to one of my aunts asking to write something about the kind of person grandpa was for the obituary. How can I say no. To me that would have been kind of like a slap in his face. It was an honor to say yes. Then I hear "but I have to have it by 2:00". Guess that doesn't mean back to sleep for me. So sitting there I thought of all the things that all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and children have said in person or on facebook about grandpa. This was easy! Not only do I work better under pressure I didn't have to think while half asleep. I just mixed it all together and poof there it was. Off in an email. That was done. Without a to many tears! Thank you to all of the family for helping me put it together!
Grandpa was such an awesome man! He is going to be so missed!!!!
Kaufman, Joseph M.
Joseph M. Kaufman, Appleton, age 87, died Sunday July 6, 2014 at his home. He was born in Appleton on July 22, 1926 to the late Matthew and Lorraine (Dunsirn) Kaufman. Joseph married Vivian Fulcer on August 22, 1945. She preceded him in death on April 6, 2011 after 65 years of marriage. Joe was a mechanic at Schreiters Auto Supply for over 40 years, retiring in 1998. Following his retirement, he enjoyed woodworking, reading and playing Solitaire. Joe served in the U.S. Army during World War II and was a member of the Harvey PierreV.F.W. Post 2778, Appleton.
Joseph is survived by his children: JoAnn Koehnke, Ginna (Jack) Heegeman, Dave (Linda), Judy (Roger) Regeth, Mike, Ralph (Diane), Mary (Steve) Ready, Debbie Wilson, Greg (Kim), Dan (Laurie) and Ann (Ken) Hansen; 26 grandchildren: Trisha (Dan) Rawlings, Tim (Kimbre) Kiley, Katy (Tim) Schultz, John (Misie) Heegeman, Bob and Keith (Amy) Ristow, Corrina (Jake) McIntire, Christy Fristch, Amanda Christophersen, Chris (Henna) and Kory Hermes, Levi Ready, Jessie Dercks, Shannon (Jon) Calllies, Jimmi Hansen, Joe, Willy, Paul (Kellie), Denny, Toni, Mike Jr., Tommy, Ronnie, Dan (Allissa) and Shawn (Corrie) Kaufman; 55 great grandchildren; 6 great great grandchildren; siblings: Chuck (Lorraine) Kaufman and Margaret Seidling; sisters-in-law: Joyce Kaufman and Barbara Vandermuse. He is further survived by nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends.
In addition to his parents and wife, Joseph was preceded in death by his sons-in-law: Bob Koehnke, Jim Koehnke and Steve Wilson; grandsons: Jamie, Troy and Billy; great granddaughter, Ally; brothers: Bob (LaVerne), Casey (Margaret) (Betty), Louie (Margaret) and Jack Kaufman; and brothers and sisters-in-law: Sissy Wolff, Angeline Shuckhart, Jerome, Ronnie, Tommy, Danny, Clifford and Gerald Fulcer.
Visitation will be held Thursday July 10, 2014 at ST. MARY PARISH (312 S. State St. Appleton) beginning at 9:00 a.m. until time of Mass at 10:30 a.m. The Rev. Bill Swichtenberg will officiate. Military rites conducted by the Harvey Pierre V.F.W. Post 2778 will immediately follow. Committal St. Mary Cemetery. To sign the guest book, please visit oconnellfh.com. In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been established.
Written by Joe's granddaughter, Trisha:
The world lost an amazing, most kind, and gentle soul that will be missed more than words can say. He loved so unconditionally that it shined right through his tender heart. Being a father and father figure to many you couldn't help but learn from him by the way he lived. You learned the true meaning of a work ethic by his hard and dedicated work. You learned to rely on your faith with his "this to shall pass" attitude. With the little pat that he gave you while giving you a hug, you knew he was proud of you. The thing that made him the happiest was his family and seeing them happy. He will be missed not only by his squirrel friends, but all that knew and loved him.
"Keep it cool" Grandpa! ~With much love~
In between the family part of the funeral and before everyone started to arrive for the visitation my sister got all the siblings together for a group photo. I am so glad she was able. You never know when the next might be.
All 11 of the Kaufman siblings.
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