My friend "Mr Wilson" has peacefully passed away. In the 14 years that I have been working in hospice I do not believe that I have actually cried with a patient like I did with Mr W the night prior to his passing. I am usually good at not getting close to my patients. Let alone let them have a special spot in my heart. The thing I think that was different with "Mr W" was that I learned alot from him, unlike any of my other patients. I was truly able to help him at the end of his life and help him finish his journey here on life and continue forward.
I don't know what he was like before his became ill. Unfortunately that is the downfall of our profession and we only see people at their worst. Mr Wilson as you have guessed is not his real name. But to me, he will always be Mr Wilson in my memory bank. When he had any encounters with staff he came across like a gruff old man that was crabby at the world. When he in reality was a soft teddy bear that was a sweet man. At least at this point in his life. Even when he had his bad days he still showed/told you how much he appreciated all that you have done for him.
"Mr W" had experienced alot of the stages that one would go through in their life when their bodies decline. All the while being as honest and blunt with him (per his request) through all his questions. Knowing that he wouldn't like my answers I stayed honest and straight forward with him. Things he didn't understand or that he was stressing about, I was able to help him and physically show him to help his mind be at ease. When the change hit it was hard for him. I think some of it, is that he kind of reminds me of Dan is some respects. Especially towards the end. I can see Dan in "Mr W" with some of his comments and what he did in the end. He apologized to his wife for letting her down. He felt he was letting her down because he was dying and couldn't be here for her any longer. He requested his children to all come so that he could say his own good byes to them one at a time. In the end after a special anniversary that him and his wife celebrated a couple weeks prior and a pizza party that his children and wife had in his room days prior to his passing he was at peace knowing that his family was going to be okay and he was able to let go and begin his next journey.
"Mr W"....Thank you for teaching me that sometimes patients need us to have patience and explain and show them if we are able, things that they will be going through that they worry about. Just like us they worry about the unknown also.
Thank you "Mrs W" for reminding me that I should think before my mouth opens. I will always be honest and blunt with my patients but I need to think of how I put it when answering questions.
Thank you both for reminding me that even though I work in hospice and I know what reality is when it comes to getting that terminal diagnosis, not all family members are all on the same page at the same time and do not want to even think of reality. It is okay. They will when they are ready (hopefully sooner than later).
And thank you for reminding me why I absolutely love my job!
"Mr W", May you rest in peace this night with a full heart.
Good Bye Mr Wilson.....
Dennis :)
