Easier as time goes by

People say as time  goes by, life gets a little easier after a loved one has died. I am finding that the second year is harder than the first. Is because the numbness has worn off? Is it because there was so much loss in such a short time? I find myself wanting to share so much with you as the kids/grandkids get older. I find myself needing you. Needing your thoughts or your opinions. The other two people I’d go to are also gone. One died months before you and one years before you. Three people I could trust, be me, open up to, be loved unconditionally, and no be judged on my thoughts and actions. Maybe I put myself into projects to deal with that grief during the first year and now I don’t have anything to do to “avoid” dealing with the loss. Now it’s “real”. I’ll have patience this next year and have faith my grief will ease up and maybe even open myself up to another like I did you three. Until then, I will lean on my faith and pray for strength. 

Summer grief

This past summer and currently the fall is throwing grief at me in a way I wouldn’t have expected. Maybe that is why it hits so hard at times. 

During one of the hot spirts this summer I was out looking for a new pool for the grandkids. Came across a “splash pad”. Thought it would be cool and the kids would like it, which they loved. As I was watching the kids enjoy it,  mom came rushing to mind as well as the flood of tears. I was thinking that that pad would be something she would have purchased. She would have loved to be sitting out there watching them. I had many moments like that throughout the summer knowing mom would have been enjoying those kids right along side me. 

RIP Mitch

Last week Wednesday the City of Appleton lost a firefighter while he was responding to a medical call. He was murdered by the man that he was helping. This man also lost his life.  1933 has been the last time a fireman has died in the line of duty.

This fireman was in his late 30s and left a wife and three young boys behind.  Every time I see something on social media about the incident it makes me feel sad and even tear up thinking about it.  

During this past week I have witnessed the depth of an amazing community. 

You look at the world today and even the communities around you and see bad things happen to people and done by people. Watching the last 7 days unfold I sit in amazement.  I ask myself how this world can be so cruel but be so kind and giving at the same time. 

Thousands of dollars donated for his family that he left behind, the amount of people that lined the procession route when he was brought back to Appleton from Milwaukee as well as the route to and from the funeral home and church.  Not even mentioning the amount of police vehicles, firetrucks and other fire vehicles. This doesn’t even include the many other fundraisers that people are doing for this family, the meals or other needs that are being met by the community.  The generosity is absolutely amazing!

Besides of the lives of this fireman’s wife and his young boy’s lives changing (which I can’t even begin to imagine how they have been affected), I can’t imagine how this death has affected the firemen that he has worked beside the last 14 years.  That empty void that they are left with.  That empty bed, the empty chair at meal time. That empty fire jacket that once hung above his boots, the helmet that sits on the shelf, and even his spot that he would sit while being on a call. 

I am sure that since Mitch has been with the department for the last 14 years that he knows how strong that bond of brother/sisterhood that lies within the departments is.  I am sure he knew that if something would happen to him his family would be taken care of by this family.  As someone from the outside and not knowing what that brother/sisterhood is like, I can feel it.  I can feel that they are a deep bonded family that will make sure that this now widow and her young boys will forever be taken care of and be under a watchful eye to make sure they are okay.

We will be hearing more in the next few days  about the generosity of the community and beyond, the heroism that Mitch and the others showed that day as Mitch’s family lay him in his final resting spot.  I am sure the stories that will be read will continue to bring tears to my eyes. My heart will be full knowing that there is some hope out there that good will prevail over evil! There is more good than evil!